MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER: —
"After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the
biggest smile you can give us?"
COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER: —
"I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"
MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER: —
"Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how
hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER: —
"All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket,
take your hand out of there and show me."
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER: —
"Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like
the other kids?"
MARY'S JEWISH MOTHER: —
"I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would
like to know how he got a better grade than you."
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER: —
"But it's your senior picture. Couldn't you do something about your
hair? Styling gel, mousse, something, ANYTHING...?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER: —
"The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can
kiss your allowance good-bye!"
JONAH'S JEWISH MOTHER: —
"That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the
last forty years."
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER: —
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now
turn it off and get to bed!"