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Humor

Russia's Military Strategy

At the Russian War College, the general is lecturing the class of officers and tells them that this session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies.

One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, "Will we have to fight in a World War Three?" "Yes, comrades, look's like you will," answers the general. "And who will be our enemy, Comrade General?" another officer asks. "The likelihood is that it will be China." The class looks alarmed, and finally one officer asks, "But Comrade General, we are 150 million people and they have over one billion. How can we possibly win?"

"Well," replies the general, "Think about it. In modern war, it is not the quantity, but the quality that is the key. For example, in the Middle East, 5 million Jews fight against 50 million Arabs, and the Jews have been the winners every time." "But sir," asks the panicky officer, "Do we have enough Jews?"

From the Muslim stand-up comic Goffaq Yussef

Good evening gentlemen, and get out, ladies.

On my flight to New York there must have been a Jew in the bathroom the entire time. There was a sign on the door that said "occupied."

How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!

Did you hear about the Broadway play, The Palestinians ?
It bombed!

What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia?
Lefty!

Did you hear about the Muslim strip club?
It features full facial nudity!

Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank?
Because just a stone's throw from Israel!

Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys?
Because every Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group!

A small plane carrying Yassir Arafat and all his top lieutenants crashes and all aboard are killed. Who is saved?
The Palestinian people!

What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
"Live ammunition."

A Palestinian girl says to her mommy: "After Abdul blows up, can I have his room?"


The Comedian: United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

Speaking to a reporter at the United Nations headquarters, Ban Ki-moon, apparently with a straight face, said: "I don't think there is discrimination against Israel at the United Nations."
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Question of the Week

What does "varicose" mean?

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Today is Monday, September 25, 2017. Last modified Tuesday, May 6, 2014 by webmaster@alanstein.com.